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RANT #1



I'm SICK and goddamn TIRED of having to play mommy for my mother! She is one of the most idiotic people that I know! I know that most people "hate their parents"- because they won't let them stay out until 3 in the morning or sleep over at so-and-so's house or go to a certain someone's party. I can see the logic in not doing those things, so it doesn't bother me when a PERMISSION DENIED flag shows up. But I have to do that to my mother! First of all, she's not that bright, secondly- she's in love with a crack addict/dealer, and third- she has NO common sense.



We've had issues with DCFS (Division of Child and Family Services) before, due to negligence because my mom just leaves at the most innappropriate times and stays gone for hours, without my brothers (them being 8 and 10) having proper care. I babysit a lot, always have (I started when I was 9, but I've always been mature and responsible, and it would only be for 1 or 2 kids for 1-2 hours at a time), and I don't mind it, especially considering the alternative- them having NO supervision, or even WORSE her boyfriend watching them.



My brothers aren't able to take care of themselves, they bicker and whine over the littlest of things (oh he looked at my funny!), sometimes resort to physically releasing frustration (hitting/kicking), and are always fighting over who gets to play what videogame or what controller they get to use. They are that way because that's how they were raised- to be able to get away with shit like that. Now I was basically raised by my father (thankfully) who has reasoning skills, uses logic, and IS a responsible parent.



So tonight (0034) my mom comes into my room and tells me she's going boating for a few hours. FULL WELL knowing that she'll have to get up at 600 with the kids (odd sleeping patterns, AND we have a couple more this weekend- my sister, other brother, and his friend). I try to reason with her and tell her that it's a horrible idea. She starts yelling (she does this often as well) and tells me that I'm not her mother (woah, big shocker!) and that she can do what she wants (throws a fit, just as she always does) when she wants, and she wants to go boating RIGHT the fuck NOW! Her reason is that it's so peaceful and nice at night out on the water with no one else around (and I can relate to that, I love the night, and don't like the sun and such much) BUT I know full well that they're just going to go out on the water and get smashed! No way would she just go out in the middle of the night for the tranquility (oh, big word, one she wouldn't know the meaning to!).



My boyfriends mother (more of a real mom than my biological mother) despises my mother for her lack of nurturing skills, taking responsibility, and her consistant tardiness (for about a week, after my ranting, babysat my brothers [during the summer], because they rarely obey me). At first Janet (bf's mom) liked my mom, but COULD see her utter fakeness (just another thing that irks me about her- her constant striving to have everyone like her, so she fills them with lies- which I'm sure she makes herself believe to be truths) and knew that she didn't care for her children much. Then everyday she babysat, my mom would show up 1-4 hours later than it WOULD have taken her to get home from work. ONE day, my mother went home right after work, and left the boys at Janets so she could "recouperate" from being out late with her boyfriend the night before (because appearantly she can't think for herself and say "oh I've got to go home, I have work in the morning!"). So lost Janet's trust and liking her. Janet even told me that she'd let me move in with them, just to get away from my mom, but of course, I have a bit of an issue with that, due to my brothers NEVER being supervised if I left.



GRRRR



So here I am, ranting/rambling away..... wondering if I should report my mom for neglect again. (oh on top of all that, she has left me at school for hours before, forgotten to pick me up from work at midnight, AND left me in Salt Lake for hours when she KNEW she had to pick me up at a certain time, but that's not NEARLY as important as her leaving my brothers to fend for themselves- I at least know how to take care of myself and such).....



I don't know.... this is all so piecey, I know- I skipped around a lot and skirted a bunch of issues, but I just HAD to let some of it out..... I already feel a bit better, and I haven't even posted this yet! damn..... well I'm off to bed, I have work at 10 in the morning- I just hope my mom's up to dropping me off a 10 minute drive away (yes, sadly I have no car, and I FINALLY have my liscense- I haven't even had it a full month yet)



If you read this- I'm sorry.... I'm not always like this, just shit has been piling up, and I wanted to shovel some of it out.